"Champagne Runner"

What a day! After a busy day, I rush home to get miles in for my sister Dee #milesfordee. Grab some banana bread (don't judge me), change clothes, shoes on, grab my phone because who runs without their cellphone?! Umm ya... my phone is dead. So naturally I wait forever (20 minutes) for it to charge a little. Finally, I walk out the door only to notice the fierce clouds scowling down at me. The apparent storm doesn't scare me so I head towards the road anyway. I am walking and ready to listen to my new book. I bought Jen Hatmaker's new book, Fierce, Free and Full of Fire: The Guide to being Glorious You and I listen during my workout time. If you know me you know I am not a fan of Mrs. Hatmaker, sorry Jen. I am shy, quite, reserved and she is just a bit much for me.

Ok, so back story. Years ago I attended the No Need Among You Conference in Austin. One of the keynote speakers at this particular conference was Brandon Hatmaker. I had never heard of him before this conference. He took the stage and started with "I am sure you are disappointed that my wife Jen Hatmaker isn't here instead of me".  I wrote the name Jen Hatmaker in my notepad. Mr. Hatmaker went on to tell us a story. He said one Easter Sunday after preaching a million services his wife convinced him to go to a church service where a man by the name of Shane Claiborne would be preaching. When they arrived they climbed the stairs to a small, crowded upper room. Brandon continued his story. He spoke of love in a way that settled in the deepest part of my being. I was consumed by the way he spoke of my Jesus. At the end of this service Brandon said he and his wife found themselves taking their new Christmas boots off and leaving them at the alter along side the other shoes left by the others. Those good shoes were left there by people that said yes to God. Those good shoes were left for the homeless men and women that did not own a pair of shoes. I was a complete mess. Yes people it was the ugly cry. This story wrecked me and my life. I am not the same person I was before listening to this man named Brandon. I tell you I was brought to my feet and yelled silently within my being, yes, yes Lord yes. Read Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker and look up Shane Claiborne. You will not regret it.

I would later research Mrs. Hatmaker. Ok so I was intrigued and bought her book, Interrupted. My research went as far as going out of my way to attend one of her live performances right here in Amarillo, Texas. I even lead a book study on a couple of her books. Through this thorough research I learned that sometimes a gently tug won't do. Sometimes God "interrupts" our lives with people like Mrs. Hatmaker, a woman brave enough to yell and brave enough to shove us right out of our comfort zone. Even though she is a bit much for me she has many truths we should all hear. Are you brave enough?

So now on to her new book. I have to admit she is growing on me and I am actually enjoying this read. Ok maybe swinging towards loving this book. Yes, I am even committed enough to listen to Mrs. Hatmaker speak for 10 hours!!!! Yes 10 hours. Lord speak to me however you wish by whomever you wish to speak to me through. I say yes.

Chapter 8 is titled "I want to choose my Yeses". What a concept to say yes to things we want and to do those things we say yes to without fear or with fear. No matter so long as we choose the Yes. The day I heard Mr. Hatmaker changed me and encouraged me to begin saying yes. I have been a Yes person since that day. I say say to the hard people. I say yes to the sad situations. I say yes even when I know I will fail. I say yes to serve all those no one else will. I say yes to being comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you have ever traveled with me you know I am a Yes person in the fun times too. Yes, lets have cheesecake in Southlake. Yes, lets have all the snacks in Junction before we make it to Mo Ranch. Yes, to the piano bar in Fayetteville. Yes, to the Peabody in Memphis. Yes, lets rent the convertible and drive the coast all the way to Laguna Beach. Yes, to the Opal Resort in Clearwater and yes to Maui every time yes.

I am a yes to serve, all people regardless of race, religion, gender or political affiliation. I am a yes to serve you regardless of what life has thrown at you. I pray Lord send me the people no one else will serve and those no one else will love. Lord yes to all the things and all the people. Mrs. Hatmaker book encourages us to say yes to all the things not in a way that would allow you harm but yes to things you want and are maybe to scared to say yes to. When will you start saying yes?

In this same book she also tells a story about sitting on a boat in her momma swimsuit sunbathing on a beautiful summer day.  Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she notices a newly wed couple, in their wedding attire, rowing a small boat towards the shore. Enough of the sunbathing so she leaps to grab a bottle of champagne from the fridge. She runs with the bottle and the champagne glasses in hand. She makes contact with them and embraces them as if they were hers. She loves without words and allows worth to strangers. No she didn't know them but she celebrated them anyway.

What if we were not only the Yes person that Jen talks about in her new book. What if we were the "Champagne Runners"too. Yes, the "Champagne Runners". What if we celebrated all people. In a world where we desire to qualify people as worthy before we acknowledge them or celebrate them. What if we celebrated people because they exist and because we are all neighbors in one way or another and we all matter. Yes, every single one of us matters.

Just a little rant. A couple of months ago I had a young man say to me that what I did at Living Intentionally Ministries did not matter. He said all I did was help a handful of people get their GED and that was nothing. Well it is not "nothing" to my students or to me. It is not nothing to their families or their children. It is something because they matter. I can not even imagine what it has taken my students to get to where they are today. We don't all travel the same road. So yes I will celebrate them when they register to work on their GED. I will celebrate them when they pass their Science test. I will celebrate them when they pass their Social Studies test. I will celebrate them when they pass their Language Arts test. I will celebrate them when they pass their Math test. I will celebrate them even even they don't pass. I will celebrate them for being brave enough to try. I will celebrate them when they attain their Driver License, at the age of 26. I will celebrate them when they attain employment at a local fast food place. I will celebrate them at every turn as I am a "Champagne Runner" and everyone matters to me. How about you? Will you be a "Champagne Runner"?

The Cartoon Artist

What an unsettling time in our world…huh. I am an introvert so by choice I want to stay home. It feels a little different when I no longer have the option of just getting in my car to go shopping or to go out to eat or to go down the street to get my nails done! So here I am, looking for ways to stay entertained without gaining 500 pounds. I am sure we are all getting creative as to how to stay busy and are probably all looking for ways to keep the anxiety and stress to a minimum. I am only on day two of quarantine and I’ve already tried a variety of ways to stay busy. I am not crafty and I don’t like to cook which means my choices on staying busy are limited. So, I have decided to pick up an old habit and no its not drinking and no you can’t come over, well not at this point anyway.

As you may know I am a writer and I love to write of the many ways I fail, in hopes to check myself and perhaps in hopes of helping others not make the mistakes I make on the daily. I have just not made time to write in the past two years. Yes, I have written in the past two years but it has been for work and that’s not the same as writing for yourself. If you are a writer you know what I mean. Yes, naysayers…I am a writer. Whew.. pause for a minute, perhaps I am a little testy so please bear with me or don’t. The nice thing about social media, blogs, movies, the news and so on is that we all have a choice to scroll by or to turn it off. So if you’re not a fan keep scrolling and FYI there is a delete button on Facebook too. Just saying. I assure you my kindness will return… eventually.

In 2010 I started writing every night before bed. Sometimes I would stay up till 1:00AM just writing. I did it for me. It was my time. It was my space. It was my solitude. I wrote to allow myself relief. Writing allowed me to empty my day and relieved me of the hurt, sadness and all the things unwanted for that day. About two years ago I got busy, my travel days doubled from an already busy schedule. I also had a hand in everything I could be a part of, so little by little I stopped making time to write. Looking back now I can see that is when I began to struggle.

Last month my family and I planned to attend an event in San Antonio. It was a gathering of about 30,000 people. My son, Josh sings and him and his classmates advanced to this most prestigious event. As a family, we made plans months ago to attend. Some of us were scheduled to drive and some of us were scheduled to fly. Whatever it takes, right. I am the organizer of all things travel so everything was in order and we were ready to go. As an introvert the anticipation of being part of an audience this large was daunting and I knew there would be a struggle. I know how to do this so I knew I would have to work really hard to be ok around so many people. To add to this stress , the Monday before we left I experienced a little bit of a breakdown. Ok, maybe not a little bit, it was a full blown melt down. I have been silently struggling for the past two years. Struggling mentally, spiritually and emotionally. All of this mess has been pressed down in the center of my being and on this particular day the flood gates seemed  to be giving way.

I remember that day was a busy day and that evening I was scheduled to teach a class on self-care. I know huh… how ironic. Driving home that evening everything just gave and I felt as my life came to a halt. No filter. No pretty cry. Just a raw form of weeping seeking some sort of wellbeing within the inner most part of my being. It was two days before we were scheduled to leave for San Antonio. I called my girls and my husband for support. Not even they knew of my struggles. If you had any interaction with me in the past two years you probably did not know I was struggling either. I am really good at keeping stuff to myself. So there is really no reason you would’ve known. Check on the people around you. We all have something.

A couple of years ago I wrote a book titled, Permission to Rest. It’s a great book and I wish I had done better about following the advice on the self-care chapters. But as my publisher says “writers typically write about what they struggle with”.

We leave for San Antonio as planned because after all the show must go on. There is certainly no time to whimper or to struggle. I am a mom, a wife and a Nama and stuff has to get done. My husband and I arrive a couple of days before the rest of the family so we had some time for rest and relaxation. It is important that you know God and I have not been in the best place for about two years. I’ve been upset with Him and we are not on speaking terms most of the time. Well, He is always talking to me but I am not listening. It’s true you guys, “if we draw nigh to Him, He will draws nigh to us”. In my most desperate times He sits right next to me. He holds true to His promise to “never leave me nor forsake me”. No matter how bratty I am being and no matter how I fail Him. He truly loves me. On my darkest days all I have to do is cry out and He leans in. Anybody out there know what I am talking about!??! Unfortunately, we as the church typically don't follow Gods lead. We don't understand when a Christian struggles mentally, emotionally or spiritually. We are quick to judge and are quick to question if the person struggling is praying enough, worshiping enough, involved in enough bible studies or may even suggest we might need to volunteer more. Really all I needed was to be loved. All I needed was to feel as if I was enough but instead I received “social distancing” instead. 

One afternoon while in San Antonio, my husband and I decide to take a stroll down the river walk. It was quiet and peaceful, not to many people. It isn’t long before we spot a “cartoon artist”, you know the kind of artist that draw an image of you and it looks like a cartoon. This particular artist happened to be a young Hispanic man. We take a seat and he begins to draw. I begin to ask questions of how he became an artist and he tells us of his journey. This young man overcame many obstacles to get to where he is now and to earn the amount of money he earns today. We felt so blessed that he would share his story with us. I told him “your mom must be so proud” and he replied “my mom passed away a few years ago”. I said “I hope she saw you be successful before she passed away”.  He bowed his head. My heart sank and he began to ask us questions of what we did back home. I told him we had a small non-profit called Living Intentionally and our goal was to help adults graduate with their GED.

Telling you this story reminds me of an encounter I had the other day. Someone that I assume is not a fan said to me “I don’t know why you think you are such a big deal because all you do is help a few people get their GED.” I know…and this is from a person that received their GED from a program just like mine. I am certain they were struggling with something much bigger than my GED program.

So you guys back to this artist. In my brokenness he was Jesus to me. I don't even know if he was a christian nonetheless he reached in and pulled hope to the surface. Someone that didn't know me brought a little healing to my being. We were done and I asked what the charge was. He said I want to gift this to you because if it wasn’t for people like you I may have not had the opportunity to get my GED and God knows where I would be now. The weeping begins without control and each tear comforts my brokenness. I tell him I can’t accept the gift. I want to pay him but he insists. Without thought I reach over, like a mother embrace him and kiss him on the cheek. I softly whisper “your mom would be so proud”.

Keep doing what you are doing. You are making a difference. You will always have naysayers but rest assured that there will always also be people that love you like Jesus.